Skinhead Hamlet

I posted this on another forum, so Matt may have seen it there, but I thought I would post it here for everyone else.

It's a very short read. It's a modern version of Hamlet and is supposed to be in the spirit of the New English Bible (read: complete bastardisation of the original), which in and of itself is, just... well, hilarious. However, the play actually works in this way. I was directed toward it by my 74-year-old British professor.

Norwegian Princess' "Angel School"



Discuss.

Wowo, twaht's in this tequilaa/ This margarita is beign veyr kind to me. I should introduce myself, dont' you think? We're not even on a first name basis yet. I think I'll call it Monty because that soudns like a very likeable name. A very sltuty likeable name.I think he likess me,/ I thinklk I confufsed 1/33 with 1.2. Oopppsy! And now I feel a liottle silly.Gravityationsla force is totaly screwd up tognith. Bad earht! Badd! Hehhhehhh. I thiikn i;m a clooset claustiophobiic.hhahahaha. closet clausutirphibc. I;lm goona go dance otuside in the roaad with mionty.; Man,t hsi keyboardd is do not workign proeprly tonight. I;vee ben reding teEd Bellls serieees on aleex Hawke and therre are qutrie a few sxual scenes. Eitherr Monsiir Bel is vry imaginattive or misusss Belel is a bit off a sllut. No offns. Mrrs belll;!

hehh. if quizzsxs are quzical then whatt are tessts/

i amm so much fuin, I need a clon ..... anyhwasys bye bye. friemds!

So, approximately 2 hours after I posted that my father was going to pay for my GRE course, I get a call on my cell phone while I'm out. It was my dad. He calls to inform me that his car insurance bill just came and it's due next month, as well as the property tax (it increased by like 328% -- not a typo), and that he's not going to be able to come up with the money to pay for my GRE class. This is a problem. This is a big, big problem. I'm upset. I'm sad. I'm mad. I'm... I'm smad. I'm completely beyond furious. Had I known this 2 months ago we could have bought materials for me to study and I could have made a study schedule for myself. As it stands, I'm screwed. I don't have the money -- I barely have enough to cover actually taking the GRE and applying to grad school. Everyone's telling me it's not a big deal, but it is. They all tell me how they all took it and got into grad school and that it was fine and how I have all the time in the world. I do not. Their programmes work differently and no one I know has ever had to have their thesis proposal ready WITH their application and do all that crap on their own without any classes under their belt and decide what they want to study before they do it. And everyone I know who's had to do that has spent a considerable amount of time debating and deciding what they want to study. So, I somehow doubt that most people quite understand the stress I'm undergoing. I have to go through the archives and see what's available and see if I can get any sort of ideas from that. I'm expecting hours upon hours going through the stuff just to come up with an idea. Plus, I'm taking a graduate course in the fall and I have several other obligations during the week and having to study on my own and not having a nice little schedule with tips to help me out (because I freak out when taking tests that have everything riding on them) is really going to screw me over. I can't handle all of that at once and expect to do decently on the GRE. I have hit meltdown point twice already today, and I just don't know what to do. I'm freaking out and I need help, and I can't contact the only person who can really calm me down and level me back down. Oh, and did I mention that I'm screwed?

Blah grr blah grr blah blah blah.

Remember that lovely error message we used to get over at Nuklear when posting? I just got it here. Obviously the post still went through, but just thought I should let you know. So, uh, Steven can get on that.

I finally remembered these forums still existed. And the comic, for that matter. Though the thought of going through at least a year's worth of comics makes me want to rip my hair out, so the jury's still out on that one.

It's really kinda creepy everytime I read the comic's first frame & know exactly what the rest of the comic is going to say before I even read it. Every once in awhile this will happen. I'll know, read, it & then be shocked for a few minutes. Then I'll think about it & realise I had that conversation with you.

You keep stealing my mental creations.    I should make you cite me in proper MLA format everytime you quote or partially quote me. To abate my anguish. And save me 3 minutes from being creeped out trying to figure out how I knew the comic before reading it, only to realise I know because I said it. 'Cause then I could just see me cited there & not be so creeped out. Or maybe I just want to see me cited in MLA format. I'm not entirely sure.

Plagiarist.    Is that a word? I feel like I made it up. Or it's just a weird word. I shouldn't ramble like this at 4:45 in the morning; I should be sleeping.

I registered my email address at my school yesterday. That was all good & well until it came time to create a password.

Your Kerberos password:

    * Must be at least 10 characters long but no more than 15
    * Must contain at least 2 lowercase and at least 2 UPPERCASE (CAPITAL) letters
    * Must contain at least 1 number or punctuation character
    * Cannot be a single English or foreign word or name found in our word list
    * Cannot contain part of a course name, your status, BU ID number, personal name, or BU login name


It took me 4 tries before I came up with a password it would allow. I am never going to remember it.

Last night my brother approached me about a graduation gift. He kept hassling me to find out what I want. I honestly haven't given it any thought. The only thing I had specifically requested (other than a laptop which I'm getting) I have since found out I cannot have in my dorm. Granted, that was like $70 so that's $70 saved (except not really because I will have one).  

Anyway, I told him that I didn't know what I wanted or what I would need & so that maybe money would be the best way to go. He said that'd be ok but he hates giving money; he likes people actually having something to remember him by. He then suggested taking me out shopping & giving me 3 hours to get anything I wanted & he'd buy it. I kind of like this. However, I know he'll be ridiculously poor by the end. I mean, he has the money to spend but I'd feel bad making my brother poor. So I doubt this'll happen (though that'd be AMAZING). Anyway, should I go for the money or for a gift? And if a gift, any ideas??

You know, peeing is a great reminder of how wonderful life is. Life may suck & everything may go wrong, but all you have to do is pee to remember how good life is. Life may suck sometimes so much you wish you were little again when life was awesome & uncomplicated, but hey, you had no bladder control then. You wet the bed & yourself all the time, my friend. Just remember: life may suck, but at least you have bladder control. Never take for granted the gift of bladder control.

Ok, so Jessen will loathe this topic & say it is misnomered & should more appropriately read, "Happy Singles Awareness Day" but whatever, he'll get over it. :-p  To the rest of you hopefully non-bitter individuals, have a wonderful Valentine's Day.

Le Arteeeest? Ok, I know neither of you guys took French, but the grammar hurts my eyes. It is l'artiste in French. I's make E sounds, not E's & it would be contracted. It wouldn't be LE Artiste or in the context written, L'Artiiiiiiiiste. Ok. I'm done. The huge weight has been lifted off my chest.